Newsletter 1: March 2026

Introduction

Caring for someone with dementia is an act of deep love and commitment. Yet many carers tell me that alongside love there are also emotions they never expected: sadness, exhaustion, frustration, and sometimes even loneliness. These feelings can be difficult to talk about because carers often feel they should simply “cope”.

If this is part of your experience, you are not failing. You are responding to one of the most emotionally demanding roles a person can take on.

In this newsletter, I want to acknowledge five common emotional realities that many carers quietly carry.

1 The Long Goodbye

Dementia often brings what some people call the long goodbye. The person you love is still physically present, yet parts of their personality, memory, or shared history begin to fade.

Carers sometimes grieve in stages as familiar aspects of the relationship change. This grief is real and valid, even though the person is still alive.

2 Feeling Invisible

Many carers say that appointments, conversations, and services naturally focus on the person with dementia. This is understandable, but it can leave carers feeling invisible.

Yet the carer is also living through a profound emotional experience. Your wellbeing matters too.

3 Guilt

Guilt is one of the most common emotions carers describe.

You might feel guilty for:

• • • losing patience
    • needing time alone
    • feeling frustrated
    • considering additional care or residential support

These feelings do not make you uncaring. They simply reflect how demanding the situation can be.

4 Communication Changes

As dementia progresses, communication often becomes more difficult. Conversations may repeat, misunderstandings occur, or familiar words disappear.

Carers sometimes experience this as a loss of connection. But often the emotional bond can still be felt through tone of voice, touch, and shared moments of calm.

5 Isolation

Caring can slowly narrow a person’s world. Social activities may reduce, friendships may change, and it can become harder to step away from the caring role.

Many carers say they did not realise how isolated they had become until someone simply asked them how they were.

Reflective Pause

Take a quiet moment to consider this question:

What has been the most emotionally difficult part of caring for your loved one recently?

There is no right or wrong answer. Simply acknowledging your own experience can sometimes bring a small sense of relief.

A Small Coping Idea

Try creating one protected moment for yourself each day, even if it is only ten minutes.

This might be:

• • • sitting quietly with a cup of tea
    • stepping outside for fresh air
    • listening to music
    • writing down a few thoughts

Small pauses do not remove the challenges of caring, but they can help restore a little emotional space.

Thought of the Week

“Caring for someone does not mean you have to carry everything alone.”

Support can come in many forms, conversations, community groups, or simply knowing that others understand the path you are walking.

Further articles by Jurgen:

• • • https://dementia-counselling.co.uk/articles/staying-connected-when-words-fail/ 
    • https://dementia-counselling.co.uk/articles/finding-meaning-in-the-face-of-mortality-exploring-existential-themes/ 
    • https://dementia-counselling.co.uk/articles/the-hidden-realities-of-supporting-a-person-with-dementia/ 

P.S. If you know someone who might find this newsletter helpful, please feel free to forward it to them. They can also subscribe if they’d like to receive future reflections and support.